Imagine me

I was talking with my pastor today about "stuff" and became more aware of my need to have counseling. I have come to a place in my life where I have to be healed. I need it to the core of my being. I want to be healed, I need to be healed, I desire to be healed. Of course I want it NOW, but as my pastor told me, it is quite possible that this is going to be a long hard road for me. I am determined to do it though... why? Because I want to be a wise, powerful, women who has become all God made her to be. I want to forgive those who have wronged me and just let go, not for them, but for me. Imagine Me...FREE!
Here is the song by Kirk Franklin

Imagine Me
Loving what I see when
The mirror looks at me cause I,
Imagine me
In a place of no insecurities
And I'm finally happy cause
I imagine me.

Letting go of all the ones who hurt me
Cause they never did deserve me
Can you imagine me?
Saying no to thoughts that
Try to control me
Remembering all you told me
Lord, can you imagine me?

Over what my mama said
And healed from what my daddy did
And I wanna live and not read that page
Again

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally
Finally I can..Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
But finally I can..Imagine me

Being strong
And not letting people break me down
You won't get that joy this time around
Can you imagine me?
In a world where nobody has
To live afraid
Because of your love fears gone away
Can you imagine me?

Letting go of my past and
Glad to have another chance and
My heart will dance
'Cause I don't have to read that page again

This song is dedicated to people like
Me those that struggle with
insecurities, acceptance and even
self-esteem
You never felt good enough; but
imagine God whispering in you ear
letting you know that everything
That has happened is now

Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone

WOW what a prayer, what a song, what a prayer. Imagine me!

Spring

I love Spring time. Driving home to Grass Valley I was amazed by God's creation. On the back roads with all the orchards...WOW it is SO beautiful. I find myself wishing I had a camera to take pictures. I find myself taking out my cell phone so I can take pictures while driving...I know not the safest thing to do, but I can't resist. It got me thinking...if God took so much time in creating the trees, the wildflowers, the grass, then he must take so much more time and pleasure in the way he created me. Although I don't understand or believe in his pleasure for me....I do know it exists. One day I will feel that and I will sing in it. I will dance in it, laugh in it, live in it, and fully be alive in it.
Healing as it were, is much more difficult than I ever thought it could be. Part of me wishes I lived in the Utopian society were no one was ever hurt, everyone received bit of the love they needed, everyone was accepted for who they were, and so forth. As it were, we don't live in utopia and we all have issues. I think the issues make us wise and allow us to help others. So even though it bites..I think I will take the issues.
Spring is a time of news life, new beginnings, freshness. Heres to new life and new beginnings.